as we inch ever-closer to the 2024 election, i have to ask myself, what's in it for me?
i'm voting for kamala harris. obviously. i'm a gay man, i'm educated, i work for a living. which is to say: i'd like to keep my right to marry and hold hands in public. i've learned a few things about civics and politics and history and etc etc. and i'm usually the exploitee and not the exploiter. if i was a straight guy that owned a toyota dealership i'd probably be a trumper instead.
i hope kamala wins. but it all seems like, what, harm reduction right? what are we all doing this for?
growing up, i was given this narrative. by my grandparents, my parents, my teachers, books, television. the american dream, technocracy, work hard, have a family, best country in the world, highest standards of living, our freedom is coveted, we must protect those freedoms, they hate us for our freedom.
it rings a bit hollow these days.
i think a lot about my future. what i want versus what i can get. i barely think about what i truly want. it's obscene to be caught wanting.
but here's what i want. i want no children. i want a house on a small parcel of land, where there's space for my dog to run around. i want to live in this house with my two partners and have dinner on the table every night. some free time for my leisure.
is such a thing possible?
i'm still waiting on the whole arbitration thing, after my big crash. can't even talk about it. but it's pretty much my only hope of getting what i want. it's not a viable path for most americans.
so. i don't know. i get very sad when i think about this country's future. yesterday there was a school shooting in georgia. a boy named Colt took the assault rifle his father gave him as a holiday gift. 14 year old boy. hated school, hated his teachers, hated his classmates. wanted them destroyed. had the resources to do so.
how do you even come back from that?
you could take away the guns, sure. but what do you do about a child that wants to kill and destroy everything? what do you do about a system that creates children that hate the world?
our schools are prisons. resource officers frisk the students, the schools go into lockdowns, the schools are filled with bars and detectors and cameras and etc etc etc. the schools are filled with violence from all sides. police, gangs, bullying, institutional abuse. we all went to school, we remember. school was a fucking nightmare!
and they want us to have kids! no fucking way. i remember being a kid.
so i don't know what the point of this post is. existential angst, i guess.