today, i'm working my third twelve hour shift in a row while sick. i'm working while sick because i'm out of "sick days." i'm out of "sick days" because i used them all up when i was sick last month with a bacterial infection.

i could split off here and start talking about how i discovered my new insurance is dogshit while trying to get that treated, but let's focus on today's problem instead.

when i was sick with the bacterial infection and ran out of "sick days," i elected to take unpaid time off because i was REALLY FUCKING SICK. like seeping sick. this put me behind on my bills. so then i get to make the fun choice of deciding which bills get to remain unpaid. so far rent, electricity, automobile, credit cards, veterinary made the team. student, medical, and dental got the cut.

i don't like being behind on my bills, so when an overtime opportunity came along, i took it. work harder and make more money. or rather, give up more of your time and make more money. that's the thing about security. it's easy work but it takes up a lot of your time, at odd hours.

and now i'm sick again! for the third time in under two months. my guess is i got sick while being in a confined space with a diseased person. this is something i do for 45 minutes in the morning going to work, for 12 hours straight while i'm at work, 45 minutes on the way back home from work, and then for the 10 and a half hours I'm at home. Because everyone else in my house is also doing this.

so now, when my precious weekend finally comes around, i'm going to spend it recuperating. i'll have to cancel all the plans i made with my friends, because i don't want to get them sick. i don't want to get my coworkers sick, but i had to make a choice between that or deciding what other bills i want to leave unpaid.

i suppose i could agitate my employer for additional sick days. i probably wouldn't get it. would probably just put a target on my back. that's what happened when i worked at Traveler's.

i'm not unionized, so i don't have any additional leverage. i actually tried unionizing my previous workplace! people were scared of retaliation. people had bad prior experiences with unions. i reached out to multiple organizations for resources and guidance. i got no response. not even a "sorry, we can't help you." just ignored.

i don't see myself retiring. my grandfather retired. he worked a boiler on a ship during the Vietnam war. he came home and got a job working a boiler in a tire factory. he worked at that tire factory until he retired some 40 years later. now he sits around all day in a house that he's owned for 40 years.

my father is not retired. he was also in the Navy, except his war was in Kuwait instead of Vietnam. when he got home, there was no factory for him to work in. he got a job as a security guard instead.

i've always imagined my life playing out in a similar way to his. so far, i'm also a security guard in massive debt. where we diverge is that instead of being a Catholic like him and his father before him, i'm gay. that has been my best financial decision to date.

today's advice

don't be catholic. be gay instead. it is much harder to have an unplanned pregnancy when you're gay.